CHATTERBOX ARCHIVES April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 September 2007 November 2007 January 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 May 2009 July 2009 STEREO
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Friday, May 30, 2008 @ 7:40 PM
I'm not the poetry guy.. But i'll try.. Once i was told not to leave.. Knowing it was love not some crappy beef.. The chill i felt when it was said.. It went right into my head.. A reply was what being given by me.. I wont leave you so don't worry.. The looks in her eyes seems teary.. Sincere and loyalty is what she seeks in me.. Set it right in my very inner brain really fast.. She's going to be my first and the last.. She knows im telling the truth.. She knows i am no goof.. She's glad about knowing that our relationship won't just go *poof*.. Secrets were shared, cared and laughter we heard.. None were being kept in santa's beard.. Problems came by, i mean that's relationship right?.. But we talked things out to set things right.. Knowing that i am growing every single day.. So did love for her it did'nt just stay.. Hurting her before yes i admit.. But i really have thought, learned and i am really sorry for it.. All i wanted was another chance for me to show her how much i care.. Not giving it to me it just seems unfair.. All those memories just seems to fade in her.. All the things i did then and after.. Any chance if i saw what's coming which is happening now.. I would have left her in the first place to think of it somehow.. But i did'nt and i 'm sure of why.. I kept my words and i did'nt lie.. I was disappointed, sad and mad about things that it made me say words that are harsh.. I know it's cruel and it won't really make a person blush.. Forgive me or not, it's not what i think is going to change anything.. But forgiving and forgetting is by right the best thing.. If now is what makes you happy, then a pair of good shoes i hand to you.. For the next journey that is made for you.. Take care of yourself Radiyanah,that is all i can say to you.. I forgive you, i really do.. It's not easy to forget about our past.. God i really wanted us to last.. But you just changed into someone i don't know.. Like a swan turning into a crow.. I really miss the old you.. I just can't say no more. we aint together we aint no boo. If you wonder why, what or who.. It was all love from me to you. Wednesday, May 28, 2008 @ 5:57 PM
Yeah? yeah? who asked? well i'm TELLING! (part7) Man now the pressure in school is like really building it's own army to take me down. Mentally challanging me. Oh the stress i can't take it ergh... Just had a farking aerospace physics test today and i did'nt even studied for it. I mean i did study just not hard enough to have the confidence of passing it. yeah... But hey it turned out quite easy and i guess i can score it pretty well nyeh. Now i have to get ready for another test coming next week, just 2 days before my gig. Stomache in my butterfly sey.. -__-". Nowadays i just seem to feel really sleepy and it's like getting harder for me to wake up. Why... Because now i sleep with two fans on me nyahaha. It's like heavan i tell you. The moment you on them and lay on MY bed its like, Aaaaaaaaah~ hahaha. Don't get the wrong idea i mean going to sleep ok. Well i am trying my best to move on now that she dont really need me anymore and i don't think she cares anymore. I think she's just busy or maybe someone new and better got into her life or something.. ermm yeah. That's fine, i have a life to live and i got better things to do. All i can say is for her to take care of herself. Yeah nothing much for me to say anymore. Oh my, now i just remembered i have to study for my final driving theory test. Dang it i havent check the date and all. *Checking*... **** IT IT'S ON THE 7TH OF JUNE IDIOT! heh dramatic sey Amsyar.. Yeah great it's on the same day as my gig. Just perfect like really-really ****ed up. I got 76% for my E-trial test and it's considered failed. WHOOP~! I don't need to worry because i'm confident i'm going to nail it! 100% hell yeah! hahaha. err...ok. Thursday, May 22, 2008 @ 4:40 PM
^%$$#@ Global Warming @#$$%^ Well now you can tell that earth is warming up and doing some stretchings for a daily excercise. -___-".. She's not perspiring but like fcuk itself, we are. Even when im asleep i can lose a few pounds you know. Perangai soo-oon seeeeyy~.. It's hard for me to fall asleep. I mean how i wish i can have a bite on that poison apple thingy, and fall asleep. tioaw... How many of you think that the heat is just too much? raise your hand up high so i can make a head count, ok 1..2...3 HAH! all of you think so too. Same uh! mcm papa jahat gitu kan?! hahaha k hush. My point is, guys... please stop watching pornography while drinking iced lemon tea with no lemons in it. ok fark randomness. But serious peeps, i just have a feeling that the world is about to explode (like what my friend saufi mentioned in his blog). I mean if that's even possible to happen hahahar.. *sigh* If it really could, then i guess i better do something fun so that i got no regrets and die smiling. But if i'm already blown into pieces then you wont see me smiling i guess. hmm ya..... uh huh... [yup-yup-yippy-dee-yay (x2)... AMSYAR'S-NOT-GAY(x2)]. Oh god *praying*............................................................................ ................................ .................... .... Sorry for this lame and random post. Monday, May 19, 2008 @ 5:34 PM
Like OH MY GAAAAAWD!~  Thursday, May 15, 2008 @ 1:25 PM
Why... My parents are treating me like a little fucking puppy who knows nothing about life. They think that i am still young and raw like i was years ago. Oh god please, why am i being tortured this way... i would rather be tortured physically. I mean at least i can die sooner or later after my body can't take the heat no more. Yaarh... I don't do drugs, i dont smoke and dont even think smoking is sinful but it's just bad for me and i know they won't like it if i smoke. I dont do anything that's going to lead me to the road of ruin. Most importantly i am not a WHORE! err haha -___-". That's because i can think for myself and i think about them too. But still i am being treated as if im doing something bad behind them mysteriously. When i keep to myself they say i hate them, when i talk they would say i am talking back to them. What am i to do then? If i were to be those kids who dont think straight, i would have ran away from home a long time ago... or maybe after writting this post...or maybe, just maybe this post would have never been posted since i've already ran away. Ok bullshit talk. I'm just fed up being treated like so. Above all that you people know what i mean right? Yes? No? i wont know. I'm 19 for god sake. And it's the last year for me to be a teenager come on. Dont let me have the misery by your doings. Yeah i know you brought me to this world and yea i know i am your fucking son, but i'm not your life for you to run. I only get to live for only one time guys... How i wish i am your parents, and see how you feel about it when i do the things you did to me. If you guys cant handle me being like this then in the first place why did you guys even bother to bring me to life?! There's no meaning to it. Sometimes i think it's better to be evil and bad because people just dont see it when you're nice or good or whatever the fuck it is. They only remember the bad things you've done to them. Thursday, May 1, 2008 @ 11:43 AM
Feelings for her...i still do... It has been 3 years.....3 years of knowing her and then we fell for each other. I have to say i remembered every moment of laughter, sorrow and almost everything you guys can ever imagine of when you're in love with a person so special. So special that you even can forget about the pain in the past and forget about the time you wish you were never been born. The every second smile given by her is like a hypnotising cursing spell. Making you smile as she smiles to you..... No problems in communicating, no awkward conversation. Every lame sentence or jokes were being accepted by both party and only laughter known to be the outcome..... No sense of shame and feeling comfortable being with each other. Sharing stories and telling secrets that is not even known by own family or friends, sharing problems and hope it could be settled by the help from one. Since the first i fell for her, it really didnt stop. I really liked her. It was so comfortable being with her. Knowing her for soo long has made me feel that way. And i swear that was the first time in my whole life that i felt that way.That i speak from my heart. Ever since she got into my life, i have never thought about cheating her nor to hurt her. I have never even got attracted to any other girls. I did my best not to make her feel jealous or what so ever. I did my best to be a great guy for her and the best she could ever have. I did my best to treat her like someone very special and like she's my first priority. I just want her to be happy and myself to be happy with her. I did everything i could for her. Everything that i can afford to lose. I spent most of my time with her and honestly i dont mind because i felt happy and calm to have her right beside me. I loved her soo much.. Then things changed like as if the earth just exploded into peices in a blink of an eye. Shattering feelings inside of me which i hate when it happens when things just goes wrong. Especially when i try to make it better, it just wont be any better. She broke us up becuase i made a minor silly mistake.I said i was sorry and i knew the mistake i did. And i even told her how much i love her still. I even fetched her from work hoping that she knows my feelngs and how sorry i am. She did'nt even let me have the chance to change or make things better like before..... She didnt want any commitment she said... she's already tired to be in a relationship she said... she wants to study and concentrate she said... But in the end she told me she likes someone else. I kept thinking about it...how could she even do this to me. Just knowing that guy for a few weeks and she likes him. I mean i have known her for 4 years. And all this while she have been thinking about getting rid of me for another whoever. I don't understand. Her every reasons are her lies. Lies just to get me off her shoulders. I'm like a dandruff being swept away of her. I'm like a toy which she bought 4 years ago and now that there are new ones to play with, i'm being put away or worst thrown in the garbage. To be honest again, i dont feel like a toy but her shit. Being flushed and never to be seen again. I'm like the food she ate yesterday. Maybe that guy is just better than me... After thinking about what she's done to me now, i dont think there's a need to ..... i dont even know what to say already. I am just speechless about what's going on now. I really miss being with her, i miss her as in who i loved before. I really do.. |
